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Tag Archives: divorce mediation
So divorce mediation isn’t confidential after all?
In the early 1980s, a college buddy of mine bought a house in Ann Arbor for renovation and anticipated subsequent rental. He was an engineer, which lends itself to such prerequisite skill sets, mechanical-side. I claim no such credentials. One day I was over at the house and he encouraged me upstairs to see a [...]
Posted in Confidentiality, Negotiation, Trust
Tagged as: Alternative Dispute Resolution, divorce court, divorce mediation, reality, Washtenaw divorce
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Open to separate parent-teacher conferences
Last year, one of the middle school principals asked me to sit in with him on a parent-teacher conference. The mom and dad were divorced, and one of them had asked that they each have their own separate time to discuss the daughter’s schoolwork with her instructor. That request was denied, but now fireworks were [...]
Posted in Communication, Parenting / Co-Parenting, Society
Tagged as: Ann Arbor divorce, co-parenting, divorce, divorce mediation, parent-teacher conferences
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A Christian perspective on secular Divorce Negotiation
I work with clients through secular and pastoral divorce counseling, both effectively under what most folks have come to know as Divorce Reality Group.* One is secular, the other a Christian in perspective. So which is it? Revelation 3:15-16 cautions: I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were [...]
Recognizing “strategically difficult” opposition, part 2
Part 1 on this topic listed 10 of “The Top Twenty Tactics of Strategically … Difficult People,” as delineated by Ronald M. Shapiro and Mark A. Jankowski (with James Dale) Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People: How to Beat Them Without Joining Them. The following, then, completes that inventory. As I mentioned previously, games I’ve seen played [...]
Posted in Control, Emotions, Negotiation
Tagged as: Bullies Tyrants and Impossible People, divorce mediation, game theory, Michigan divorce, negotiation
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Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “Passive-Aggressive”
This, and what Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People labels “Silence,” exploits what almost seems to defy human nature in a lot of folks. If you’re a “rescuer” or “care-taker,” then moments of seeming non-progress in divorce negotiations will likely cause you to feel compelled to rush in with options, proposed solutions, and even adjustments to [...]
Posted in Communication, Control, Emotions, Negotiation, Unhooking
Tagged as: Bullies Tyrants and Impossible People, coercive tactics, control, divorce mediation, game theory
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Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “False Deadlines”
This can be tough to discern when it’s being used as a coercive tactic, because divorce has some very real deadlines as well. If you’re trying to negotiate a divorce settlement in anticipation of making an initial Filing that includes a resulting agreement as attachment, the Sword of Damocles (equally available to both) is to [...]
Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “Take It or Leave It”
In the area where I practice, divorce mediators may refer to this as your “Last, Best Offer.” One of the ways in which this is manifest is by opposing counsel: “If you want us to meet for a possible divorce settlement, you’d better come with your last, best offer.” Okay, so what are your options [...]
Posted in Control, Negotiation, Trust
Tagged as: control, divorce mediation, divorce strategy, game theory, negotiation
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