Dell Deaton and Divorce Reality Group

We can do this on a limited basis involving just one or two sticky issues, or step-by-step to a comprehensive agreement that you can present to an attorney to complete your Judgment of Divorce.

Even after a divorce is final, I may work with you on personal goal setting and progress in building a new life. Families bring me in to help them develop strategies and solutions for creating revised interpersonal dynamics in the wake of divorce; couples come to me to assist with blending and applying lessons learned to next-relationships.
And, of course, I'm here to assist you with negotiated updates to earlier agreements that may benefit from adjustments as your children grow and mature.

Divorce Reality Group is my professional practice

My office is located in the City of Saline. My training is current through the latest Michigan Court Rule 3.216, including domestic violence screening and advanced instruction.

As it happens, I got my start in interpersonal negotiation in 1983 — as a professional wedding photographer (no kidding).

Couples are under incredible pressure in getting married. Just before one of the earliest ceremonies I was hired to memorialize, the clients came to me to help them work out a "rights and responsibilities agreement" — in hopes of heading off some of the honeymoon-busting challenges of merging two singles into one household.

If I mention at this point that I also completed six years in contract security management, that invariably invites quips: "Was it more or less stressful?" Each honed my conflict resolution skills in its own way, I can sure tell you that.

I am divorced

The reality of my own divorce often seems to be the most relevant thing I can say about myself to those who read my biography.

During the summer of 2004, I delivered my seminar on trust to a large group of attendees with the North American Conference of Separated and Divorced Catholics at the University of Notre Dame. Out of respect for the group, I laid out my credentials to them before starting into content material, not unlike I've laid out some of my history here for you.

But it wasn't until I mentioned that I, too, was divorced, that we connected. I can't say that my personal experience was more important there than, say, the fact that I have a degree from the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor.

All I can say is that I was told afterward by several participants that my divorce made them feel more at ease. They weren't going to be judged by me, and anything I was going to say would be coming from someone who had actually walked the walk.

So — I am a divorced father, raising a wonderful young son. It's been that way for us quite a while now.

When I passionately advocate mediation and your own self-determination, you're hearing that from a fellow who is among the small minority of all cases (1.3%) that went through a full trial to have absolutely everything coming out of my marriage decided by a court. After that, things then ground on through the Court of Appeals.

You probably don't want that.

And I'd like to help you avoid as much of it as possible, if you'll let me. Not because I'm afraid or beaten. On the contrary: Because I know there's a much better way.

There's a lot to the "business" of the marital contract

So I should additionally tell you that I've run three very successful businesses over the last two decades (is there any humble way to say that?). In coming to your case, that understanding can spell an advantage in sorting out genuine, tangible interests. Rental property divisions investments. A professional practice.

Or just plain "stuff."

If it's a great deal more significant than all that, rest assured that my work grew to include multi-national communications, negotiations, and trade in 1994, mostly in Mexico and Germany, for Fortune 150 corporations.

I get what people say: When I started moderating focus groups in 1989, it was drilled into me from the get-go that the consequences of not listening could mean millions of dollars spent on the development of the wrong product.

Today, your stories are that important to me. I want to listen to you. You start out with my respect.

You're not alone

Believe me, I know you're hurting. So we offer productive places to process that, too.

In 2001, I created divorcePeers.com as a free-access, community service website designed to empower the individual faced with divorce challenges. Beyond this, I authored all the seminar and workshop material you see catalogued on this site, and I developed the first of its kind weekly, walk-in divorce support group right here in Washtenaw County.

You may also want to take a look at my twice-weekly column for commentary and advice on divorce-related issues, Divorce Balance.

What clients have written about me

Like any established professional, I've acquired a community reputation; and you're undoubtedly interested to know what others who've worked with me have to say. So I've included on this site a cross-section of letters and eMails I've received, in no particular order. But all clearly written from the heart.

Names and some identifying information has been omitted for privacy (although I'm happy to share the originals in my office). Otherwise, these are their exact words.

Recommendation Letter - A1
Recommendation Letter - B1
Recommendation Letter - B2
Recommendation Letter - C1
Recommendation Letter - H1
Recommendation Letter - H2
Recommendation Letter - K1
Recommendation Letter - S1
Recommendation Letter - S2
Recommendation Letter - T1
Recommendation Letter - T2

I'm here to help you, as you are

And I'm here for the long haul — in any of a variety of ways, as you can see. Feel free to look around our website here or give me a call if I can be of service.

In the meantime, please do take care.

Respectfully,

Dell Deaton
Domestic Relations Mediator
Transition / Life Coach

734.668.2001
eMail me

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