As a divorce consultant (or “advisor,” “counselor”), I work only with you as my client. This is an unquestionably an advocacy role — but with the perspective of your spouse and family situation always in mind as we navigate through unfamiliar options in all stages of marital separation, divorce, aftermath, and next-relationships.
You’ll focus existing resources to both overcome challenges and succeed in reaching realistic goals.
The process of divorce drives a variety of needs for change, large and small. Through “coaching” (think “life coach” or “executive coaching”) we can break down chronic obstacles and deal with them as smaller, more manageable tasks. For some of my clients, accurately “defining the problem” is our first step in finding its permanent solution. More broadly, we support our clients in goal-setting and progress in areas of accomplishment in individual, blended family, and relationship interests.
I would welcome the opportunity to meet with you to discuss your specific situation.
This can help you “reality check” many of the earliest questions you’ll face when first considering marital separation. And during the process itself, I often assist clients in identifying needed professionals (eg, CPAs, lawyers, psychologists), clearly communicating their desired outcomes, and making sure all the experts and “kitchen cabinet” (such as family and friends who are weighing in) all work together, and most economically.
- Prioritization, “strategic” thinking, planning
- Disciplined follow-through (“process management”)
- Document collection, organization, and presentation
Apart from my work as a mediator, which means never favoring one party over the other in the neutral negotiations I facilitate, in my work as a “mediation consultant” or “mediation coach,” I have been called in to solely assist either just the the husband or the wife with their separate mediation preparations.
Post-divorce, I can help take you from the impact of your individual divorce situation to more positive directions you’d like to pursue in education, employment, co-parenting, and personal independence. Frequently, this will include dating challenges and choices. Again, there are the advantages bullet-pointed above. I can often offer fresh perspectives and identify alternatives when roadblocks are hit.
Many clients have commented on the value of my unique ability to help them thoroughly understand their spouse’s perspective in face of entrenched position-based negotiations.
Few firms involved in divorce work have dealings with their clients that last more than a few months. They gratuitously indulge “your husband is a bum,” “your wife is a rat” chatter without any feeling for how those barbs will fester in the months and years following your last paid bill to them. Do you really need to write a check to make things all the worse?
Let’s face it: After a divorce, none of us will ever look at “commitment” the same way again. We may have heard that there was no such thing as a guarantee in life, but now we have personal evidence of that reality.
I work with couples from the earliest stages of dating — as a true “interview phase.” What sort of biases and expectations are you bringing into this next-relationship? How do you negotiate for what you “must have,” “would like to have,” and make intelligent decisions about what you “can’t have”? Has society or ignorance caused you to overlook the role challenges that a lack of common spirituality can have on marital success?
We work on flexibility and balance, recognizing that if we choose to have a relationship, there is a real price we must pay in terms of individual autonomy in order to receive this value.
If you are considering marriage after one or both of you has been divorced from a former spouse, we can offer specialized expertise in preparation for this new life together. We work on expectations and defining responsibilities, blended families, and ongoing negotiation. We continue to work with couples long after their re-marriage to support its success.
I’m Here to Listen to You
Together we can help you maximize your potential.
In addition to the Posts I’ve shared on this Blog and elsewhere, further background is provided on my About Page.
Please let me know if I can be of assistance. My professional practice can be reached through the Contact Page here.