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Category Archives: Emotions
Recognizing “strategically difficult” opposition, part 2
Part 1 on this topic listed 10 of “The Top Twenty Tactics of Strategically … Difficult People,” as delineated by Ronald M. Shapiro and Mark A. Jankowski (with James Dale) Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People: How to Beat Them Without Joining Them. The following, then, completes that inventory. As I mentioned previously, games I’ve seen played [...]
Posted in Control, Emotions, Negotiation
Tagged as: Bullies Tyrants and Impossible People, divorce mediation, game theory, Michigan divorce, negotiation
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Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “Outrageous Behavior”
Okay— confession time: This approach to divorce discussions annoys me the most. The person who employs this tactic (or simply indulges one’s self in it as an instinct or habbit) has no respect for the process, lacks sympathy for anyone in divorce, and is exploitive at base. The Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People description for [...]
Posted in Emotions, Legal Matters, Negotiation
Tagged as: Ann Arbor divorce, arbitration, coercive tactics, conflict, divorce strategy
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Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “The Wince”
This tactic plays on two fronts uniquely available to the other side in divorce negotiations. Many individuals in the process of divorce are insecure: About their decision-making, the reasonableness of the needs they perceive themselves to have, and their ability to self-advocate outside of marital partnership. Folks going through divorce have a high need for [...]
Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “Passive-Aggressive”
This, and what Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People labels “Silence,” exploits what almost seems to defy human nature in a lot of folks. If you’re a “rescuer” or “care-taker,” then moments of seeming non-progress in divorce negotiations will likely cause you to feel compelled to rush in with options, proposed solutions, and even adjustments to [...]
Posted in Communication, Control, Emotions, Negotiation, Unhooking
Tagged as: Bullies Tyrants and Impossible People, coercive tactics, control, divorce mediation, game theory
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How long does it take to “cool off” from an argument?
This one is often a shocker for people. But, as you can imagine, it’s a good thing for a divorce counselor, and especially a divorce mediator, to know. Things heat up. How long do you allow for them to cool off before you get back into discussions? Relationship expert John Gottman, Ph.D., writes about this [...]
Posted in Conflict, Emotions, Reconciliation, Relationships, Statistics
Tagged as: anger, arguments, John Gottman, marital discord, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
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