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Category Archives: Control
Recognizing “strategically difficult” opposition, part 2
Part 1 on this topic listed 10 of “The Top Twenty Tactics of Strategically … Difficult People,” as delineated by Ronald M. Shapiro and Mark A. Jankowski (with James Dale) Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People: How to Beat Them Without Joining Them. The following, then, completes that inventory. As I mentioned previously, games I’ve seen played [...]
Posted in Control, Emotions, Negotiation
Tagged as: Bullies Tyrants and Impossible People, divorce mediation, game theory, Michigan divorce, negotiation
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Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “Passive-Aggressive”
This, and what Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People labels “Silence,” exploits what almost seems to defy human nature in a lot of folks. If you’re a “rescuer” or “care-taker,” then moments of seeming non-progress in divorce negotiations will likely cause you to feel compelled to rush in with options, proposed solutions, and even adjustments to [...]
Posted in Communication, Control, Emotions, Negotiation, Unhooking
Tagged as: Bullies Tyrants and Impossible People, coercive tactics, control, divorce mediation, game theory
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Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “False Deadlines”
This can be tough to discern when it’s being used as a coercive tactic, because divorce has some very real deadlines as well. If you’re trying to negotiate a divorce settlement in anticipation of making an initial Filing that includes a resulting agreement as attachment, the Sword of Damocles (equally available to both) is to [...]
Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “Take It or Leave It”
In the area where I practice, divorce mediators may refer to this as your “Last, Best Offer.” One of the ways in which this is manifest is by opposing counsel: “If you want us to meet for a possible divorce settlement, you’d better come with your last, best offer.” Okay, so what are your options [...]
Posted in Control, Negotiation, Trust
Tagged as: control, divorce mediation, divorce strategy, game theory, negotiation
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Game-playing in divorce negotiation: “Higher Authority”
This is a tactic very commonly used to gain advantage in divorce negotiations. In my practice, we call it “Man Out of the Room Syndrome.” Or, as Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People labels it, “Higher Authority.” The game moves like this. Ostensibly serious divorce settlement negotiations are undertaken between the two opposing sides, sometimes facilitated [...]
Posted in Blind Spots, Control, Negotiation
Tagged as: Bullies Tyrants and Impossible People, divorce counseling, divorce mediation, game theory, negotiation
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