Divorce Balance

Negotiation > Recovery > Enhancement

Tuesday, December 7, 2004
Can You Make Me Happy?

Oh, my. And wouldn't it be grand if you could?

It was about this time of year, many moons ago, when my college roommate and I traversed the Great Lakes State to attend a semi-formal dance with a female friend of mine and her sorority sister.  It took us better than three hours to get there — spittin' distance from Lake Michigan.

Barely in the door, she asked us, "So, where's the fun?"

"We forgot to pack it," my roommate responded. Oops.

Fast-forward a quarter-century later: Today. The December 3, 2004, journal Science reports on research assessing our happiness. How do we even know it when we're experiencing it?

Researchers separated belief-judgments ("I enjoy my kids") from emotion-inducing episodes ("But they were a pain last night").

"We conclude that positive affect and enjoyment are strongly influenced by aspects of temperament and character (e.g., depression, sleep quality) and by features of the current situation. In contrast, general circumstances (e.g., income, education) have little impact on the enjoyment of a regular day."

On a 6-point scale, women are happier socializing (4.59) and in prayer (4.35), than on the Internet (3.81) or at work (3.62). That suggests a great deal of control over just what sort of bounce you can have coming out of divorce.

And when you're ready to test the waters again, I'll recommend that same thinking for your next date. From my experience, the Saugatuck Dunes State Park isn't at all that hard to get into this time of year.

—posted by Dell Deaton @11:33 AM EST 12/7/2004 [250]

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