Is a "roving eye" proof-positive
that there's something wrong with the relationship? Maybe
the individual is incapable of being in an exclusive
relationship, period.
Nando Pelusi, Ph.D., argues that
it's neither.
Rather, he believes this
represents a sort of "love insurance." It's kept "Open in
case of current relationship's demise."
Our quest for love insurance
takes many forms. When in a relationship, we may
casually flirt with someone to whom we're only mildly
attracted, just to assess whether we've still got the
stuff. But more often, the goal of a flirtation is to
determine whether the other person is a viable partner,
should the primary train go offtrack.
If our mate neglects us or
mistreats us too regularly, the impulse to catalog
alternative options rears its head all the more
forcefully.
This article didn't so much catch
my eye out of some sort of empathy for the hackneyed
rational that mankind is inherently polygamous or incapable
of long-term relationships. In fact, the author clearly
points out that being the so-called "backup mate" reinforces
that person's self-concept of being "undesirable," and it's
downright unhealthy.
What I do like about this is the
notion that it suggests we have an early-warning system to
alert us to potential martial problems before they reach a
point of imminent divorce.
—posted by Dell Deaton @4:44 PM EST 7/15/2008
RSD 16610
|
