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Authors Malhotra and Bazerman rightly point out
here that the deceptively powerful “Why?” question is “exceedingly rare” in
negotiations.
“That’s because most negotiators wrongly assume
that they understand the other side’s motivations and, therefore, don’t
explore them further.” Amen.
More often than not when I’m called in to consult
on broken-down divorce mediations, it’s because the focus is on “persuading”
as opposed to “understanding,” by one or both sides — and even their seasoned
mediator. Divorcing clients are unfortunately advised that “their problem”
isn’t your problem (see Principal 2). Yet “unreasonable demands” may be just
the ticket to breaking impasse (see Principal 3).
This article includes a fantastic sidebar titled
“Getting Information from Distrustful Negotiators” which details three core
approaches that I have personally used with great success in my own divorce
coaching over the years.
“Investigative Negotiation” is well-organized and
easily applicable to both professionals and divorcing spouses themselves.
—posted by Dell Deaton @3:01 PM EST 2/5/2008
OS 2531.80
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