Divorce Balance

Negotiation > Recovery > Enhancement

Wednesday, June 8, 2005
My Omega Seamaster Story

I'm not much one for material things.

But the Omega Seamaster 2531.80 caught my eye around the time my son was born. Ever since then, it's been firmly ensconced on my "if I could have something wholly indulgent without feeling the slightest need to rationalize it, this would be it" list.

In my divorce recovery workshops — and especially in my programs for divorcing clients bent on litigation — I encourage individuals to identify and fix their thinking on whatever tangibles may strike their fancies in the same way that the Omega Seamaster strikes mine.

Then I note that here in Southeast Michigan, the price tag to have an issue heard by a divorce court on its motion docket is about the same as what you'd pay to own a brand new Omega Seamaster 2531.80 watch. Including 2-year warranty and beautiful leather box, from an Authorized Dealer, by the way.

"Oh, I could never buy something like that for myself!" Tempted? Ten minutes spent crunching the numbers brings me back to the world of pragmatism and practicality.

But "divorce" spending? That's a different matter. The "ex" (or someone soon to be so in our lives) crosses a line in the sand, and hearing six well-said words renders us incapable of spelling "P&L," let alone filling out such an analysis.

"You don't have to take that!"

"Yeah!" you react. "I'll demand my day in court!" (Just one day? Let's hold off on my "Lay's Potato Chip" and "Doritos in Divorce Court" stories for now.)

So you start the clock with the lawyers, take time off of work, and invest in evidence gathering and organization, such as it is. On "the day," you and your team stand in the hallway outside the courtroom waiting.

And waiting.

Suddenly: Case is called, two sides speak, and the judge puts a field dressing on the hemorrhaging brought before him.

Then you're back in the hallway.

But anointments of "winner" and "loser" are illusive. The only certain thing is that you've spent more than $100.00 a minute for the ultimate hearing-out that got you — well, whatever you got.

And, of course, you have not bought yourself that Omega Seamaster watch.

The one I couldn't justify buying for myself.

As a divorcé who's case went to full trial, then through the Michigan Court of Appeals, I feel uniquely obligated to point out these divorce realities. I passed on a lot of 2531.80 watches in divorce court, let me tell you.

If I'm wearing my Timex 48811 when I tell this story, I typically close by pointing to it and noting for the herologically impaired that it's not an Omega Seamaster. That's when Suzie Johnson, who's been a part of my walk-in divorce support groups since 2001, will then spontaneously editorialize when she's in my audience.

"It never is."

No, it isn't. Not today. But once I figure out the lessons that I apparently could only learn by going through divorce, I'm confident that some day it will be—.

—posted by Dell Deaton @11:55 PM EST 6/8/2005 [500]

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