"Why File for Divorce?" (Divorce Balance, 150)

Divorce Balance

Friday, April 8, 2005
Why File for Divorce?

My lawyer says there is one reason and one reason only to file for divorce. Among other entries to an ever-expanding list, that reason is none of the following.

To show them you mean business
To get them to listen to you
To force them into marriage counseling
Because your parents don't like him or her
To send them a message
To find out how much they love you
Because "singles have it easier than couples"
To make them step up to parenting responsibilities
To gain total control of your relationship

There's only one reason to file for divorce: Because you want to get divorced.

Once you flip that switch, frequently insurmountable forces are brought into play — crystallizing and catapulting couples to that one and only end. Fundamentally, it's black and white.

That's the way the system is designed.

Period.

—posted by Dell Deaton @7:59 AM EST 4/8/2005 [150]

Reader feedback—

I particularly liked the article about when to file for divorce. As I have said for years now, "Filing for divorce is not a form of communication." We try the best we can to weed out people who are just angry about a single incident and want to show that to their spouse — and also people who need individual psychotherapy.

The older I get, the more I recognize how "portable" our personal problems are. If they aren't solved, the just get transported into new relationships. This seems to go for changing neighborhoods, spouses, and jobs — when the real problem is you!

–Marian Faupel, Attorney at Law, Faupel & Associates

2452 East Stadium Boulevard, Suite 301, Ann Arbor, MI 48104

(734) 677-0776 http://www.faupel.com

@10:01 AM EST 4/8/05